There is so much power in waking up feeling peaceful. I feel that so much more than I ever have before. It took 43 years to get to that point, but it came.
The lesson here? Never, ever give up.
I was looking around the other day and I began taking inventory of my life. I think this is something you do, especially when the days on the calendar get you to 50 sooner than 30. I have a wonderful man by my side. A healthy, loving relationship. My debt is going away. I live in a peaceful cabin by a pond on a beautiful timber farm, complete with fruit bearing trees. I am surrounded by kind people. I have a fantastic job, with an incredible staff, and I get paid to do what I do best. I have benefits to keep me healthy. I have suddenly discovered I have a knack for cooking gourmet food. Who knew? I finally got the camera I have always wanted and somehow I discovered I actually might have a real knack for taking pictures. I have systematically checked off items from the bucket list. Life is good.
It is not without its problems. Oh heavens, no. I am still having lunch alone. Yes, week 11 and I haven’t made any non work related friends. I am friendly with a ton of people, but it is mainly work or community related – and that is okay. I’ve been here a few times or more. It just takes time. You have to live intentionally.
And I have some news on the house. The inspector came back with some information and we completely backed out. Yep, we just said no. Even after the earnest money was paid (luckily, we get that back.) But the funny thing is – I feel tremendous peace about it. I say I am disappointed, only because I want my things back. Those things in storage: My art, my books, my bed. But these things will be with me soon enough.
And maybe.. just maybe… we go back to the drawing board and build.
But for now, we have agreed… let’s just be. I am blessed with what I have now. The future only gives me so much more to be excited about.