The Struggle Bus

Back when I was in the hospital, super sick

They say nothing worth having is ever easy.

I suppose having good health is a lot like that.

The struggle bus has parked and I think the brakes need fixing.

I spent yesterday morning at my doctor’s office. The idea was to chat with my team about how to decrease the inflammation and lose weight. Something I have been attempting to do for a very, very long time. Especially after the November acute pancreatitis issue, I have been working so incredibly hard to shed the pounds. The very pounds that could kill me.

I lost almost 30 pounds.

I have gained every single one of them back.



I work with a nutritionist and the information I have garnered and implemented has me feeling fantastic. I did see a little decrease in inflammation and I did have more energy. My skin looks better and I was just in a better place with anxiety.

But the inflammation is STILL there, so I called in the big guns. My internal medicine team.

What did they do? They looked at my numbers. Blood pressure: perfect. Cholesterol: good. A1C: good. Liver enzymes: Good. Weight: bad.

They took my age, my activity level, and all of the other information and turned me into a number. That number is 1,200. That’s how many calories I need to consume to lose weight.

My nutritionist has me at 1,625. That is what I need to nourish my cells and live a healthy lifestyle.

What is a girl to do? The struggle is real!

This is part of that journey. That #Fitby50. I’m trying to get all of the information, talk to all of the experts, and at the end of the day, I’m going to do what is best for me.

Am I frustrated? Yes.

Am I struggling? Yes.

Am I feeling over it? Yeah.

But I refuse to give up.

I’m resetting this weekend. I refuse to capture what I am eating in an app. I refuse to discuss my food or my nutrition or my exercise with anyone. I just want to be and do and feel and smile and laugh – guilt free.

I will make the right decisions for me.

But for right now, I am parking that bus and heading on out to find some peace and quiet.

Published by nicolesdestinationunknown

Tourism Director * Freelance Writer * Southern * Catholic * Crazy Cat Lady * Wonder Women * Coffee Addict * Traveler * Voracious Reader * Cultural Junkie * *GSD Mom*

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